I don’t even get people at all.
What makes it okay to take take take and leave people there in the cold?
Tell me that. If you can’t, I don’t even know.
What makes it okay for people to tell you you’re the only one they want to see but spend there time occupying other matters. It all feel like a bunch of lies.
It seems as if the world around me is a lie and that it might take some time and some backing off to find the truth,
but this all really hurt.
Quite a bit.

I’m not doing three good things for today because I can’t find them.

I can’t stand looking at myself.
I can’t find the motivation to change it.
Fuck it. 

Friday 27th January 

- I hung out with my mum for most of today. I usually hang out with her, so it should be a good thing every single day. I never get bored or annoyed with her like I can some other people.
- I booked my hotel rooms for my birthday and I’m fuck tons excited.
- I ate an entire prawn pizza in 10 minutes. Winning.  

The first time in four years I’ve ever felt that I could go back home and there would be nothing to lose here