Instead of three good things
I’m not sure of much right now but I do know that I’m scared.
I know which people I can let into my life that won’t hurt me,
but you can never find out who will until it happens.
I give far too much of myself to anyone who shows the slightest ray of kindness to me and it always, every time, winds up broken.
I can’t stop it, though.
I can’t stop myself from letting people in because the truth is that I don’t want to be alone. I thought I did for so long to stop this exact scenario.
Pretending that being alone was a lot easier than letting people inside to burn away at you for days, weeks, months.
I’m so goddamn scared.
And that was it. Right there. Right there, that was the moment. I suddenly realised that unless something changed soon I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine... and I'd finally die, fat and alone, and be found three weeks later half-eaten by alsatians
